Eat Me, Haunt Me
by glitch and gremlin
Summary: Gon and Killua have a significant discussion about cannibalism and metaphysical wonders. [one shot, KilluaGon]


**Disclaimer:** Damn it, no.

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**Eat Me, Haunt Me**

"Killua."

The addressed lazily shifted his green eyes, turning his attention away from the wrinkled map on his lap. Killua was clearly in no mood to talk; he was ready to turn in and get a well-deserved rest.

You see, four bandits attacked him and Gon earlier today. Fighting them was no problem; it just took a lot of energy to tie up those guys and drag them to the closest town because _Gon_ (being the proverbial 'nice guy') refused to leave the thieves unconscious and hurt in the middle of nowhere. On the other hand, Killua wanted fate (or carnivorous animals) to take care of the thieves, but Gon managed to change his mind (with much pleading and his goddamn puppy-pleading smiles).

And on top of that, they got lost. So not only did they have to wander up and down the hilly countryside, they had to drag the unpleasantly heavy weights of two babbling and uncooperative grown men behind them.

Not exactly a pleasant way to spend an afternoon.

The silver-haired teen was determined not to get lost with Gon again, hence the map—but Killua immediately straightened up from his relaxed position when he noticed the serious expression on Gon's face...his brown-eyed friend was standing rigidly before him, lips set in a grim line, eyes firm with resolution...

"Gon, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"Killua...if we ever get lost at sea or survive a plane crash in the mountains, and we have no water or food, I want you to eat me."

Killua stared at Gon with unblinking silence, wondering if the black-haired Hunter really said something so...unbelievably _stupid._ "...what?"

"I want you to eat me—you know, if that stuff ever happens to us," Gon repeated firmly, looking his friend straight in the eye, apparently oblivious to the expression on Killua's face that clearly said _oh_ _you've got to be kidding me._

"Gon, you idiot..." Killua slouched into his original position and glared at him tiredly. He couldn't decide whether to hit him or laugh at him. "...that _stuff _isn't going to happen to us. It just...isn't."

Gon glared back, annoyed that Killua wasn't taking him seriously or even considering the possibility. "But the townspeople told me all about the survivors who were lost at sea for weeks and the angry ghosts and—!"

Killua rolled his eyes. _That _explained Gon's sudden interest in cannibalism and death. This is why Killua didn't want Gon talking to strangers.

"I can't believe you actually listened to them—they were just trying to scare you! The people in this town believe all those stupid superstitions and stories; hell, they probably carry salt and crucifixes in their pockets. And come on, think about it! The probability of getting lost at sea or—ugh, why am I even arguing with you over this? It just isn't going to happen!"

"But it _is _still possible, right? It happened to other people, right?"

"Well—okay, yeah—but—"

"So if it _does _happen to us, will you eat me?"

"_No_!"

"What! Why not!"

Killua regarded Gon with an expression crossed between frustration and disbelief. Gon seemed genuinely offended by the rejection. The silver-haired teen shook his head, trying to understand Gon's warped logic of what-if situations. "Why do you want me to eat you so badly?"

"Well," Gon sat down next to Killua, making the bed bounce, "if we were stuck in something like that, we would starve to death, and I don't want both of us to die. And if you died before me, I...wouldn't know what to do...and you've always been smarter when it comes to dealing with those kinds of situations, so you'll have a better chance of surviving anyway!"

Killua blinked, his eyes widened slightly. Gon really put some thought into this unrealistic issue. And his response was said with such confidence and cheer and sincerity...Killua didn't know whether to be deeply touched or thoroughly disturbed. After all, Gon was not only giving his permission, but he was eagerly offering to lay down his own life and body to ensure Killua's survival. It was definitely a strange, disturbing thought, but...

A small, quiet smile snuck past Killua's defenses and started to creep upon his face...the silver-haired ex-assassin quickly busied himself by folding up the map.

"Well?" Gon was still anticipating Killua's approval.

Killua sighed. He might as well accept the ridiculous offer (Gon was obviously not going to stop bothering him until then). A situation like that was never going to happen anyway. "Okay, _if_ we're ever lost at sea and _if _we forget how to use our Nen or any basic survival tactics and _if _we're as helpless as two _normal_ people, then fine—I'll eat you."

Gon seemed pleased with that answer. "Good!"

Killua shook his head, muttering something about Gon's flawed imagination and logistics. There was a moment of silence as Killua leaned over the edge of the bed and stuffed the map back into his travel bag. That was more than enough time for Gon to come up with his next question:

"Do you think I would taste good?"

The silver-haired teen stiffly righted himself on the bed and gave Gon a strange, unreadable look. That question...could be interpreted in many...different ways. Killua felt an uncomfortable heat rise in his face.

_You probably taste really— _

Killua promptly gagged the little hormone-driven voice in his head. He frowned irritably and cleared his throat. "Does it matter?"

"No, I guess not..."

Killua relaxed, telling his little voice to stop struggling and shut up. Good. That's the end of this conversation—

"But I bet you would taste really good!"

Killua made an odd, choking, unintelligible sound of protest. The heat returned, twice as strong, and a deep blush revealed itself.

But Gon was absorbed in his own thoughts, inquisitive brown eyes looking toward the ceiling, nodding his head musingly. "Hmm...yeah, since you eat all that chocolate, you'd taste really sweet I bet. Plus, chocolate has all those antioxidants or something, so you'd be really, you know, nutritious. And..." Gon noticed the way Killua was looking at him. The brown-eyed teen raised up his hands in defense, smiling sheepishly. "But don't worry, I would never eat you!"

Killua quickly composed himself, gathering his nerves and wits in a pile, and willed the color to dissolve from his face. "Yeah—okay—anyway, time to sleep, get off." He gave Gon little warning as he thrust out his arms and shoved his black-haired friend off the bed.

Gon landed on the floor with a solid thud and immediately bit out a complaint, but Killua was already under the covers, curled on his side.

"Hey, Killua?"

The addressed let out a long-suffering sigh. "What now?"

"What do you think happens to your spirit after you die?"

"I don't know, I don't care."

"Do you believe in ghosts?"

Killua made a loud, exasperated groan. "No! Because they're not freakin' real! Gon, do us a favor—just stop thinking! I swear, you're gonna hurt yourself if you keep this up!"

"You don't know that! They _could_ be real!"

"I never saw a ghost before," Killua quipped, "have you?"

"Well...n-no—"

"Exactly. Go to sleep."

"Hmph! When I die, I'm going to haunt you and never leave you alone!" Gon promised spitefully as he crawled into his own bed and clicked off the light.

Concealed by darkness, Killua thought for a moment and smiled into his pillow. _Fine._ _That wouldn't be so bad..._

Killua was drifting off into a dreamless slumber when the creaking of wooden floorboards and the sound of water whispering through rusty metal pipes made the silence tremble awake. Killua knew the motel was old, so he wasn't bothered by it, but—

Killua's bed shifted when another weight settled on the edge. The silver-haired ex-assassin sat up, seeing an outline of Gon's spiky hair and the smooth curve of his shoulder through the thick darkness. "Gon, what...?"

"My bed's right under the air-conditioning, so it's cold..." Gon gave a pitiful excuse and, knowing Killua wouldn't fall for it, he then confessed: "...and the townspeople told me this story about a ghost that would come into a room and look for anyone sleeping alone and—"

Killua interrupted Gon by making a dismissive groan and plopped back onto the bed. But the silver-haired teen moved over, offering more space, and flicked out some blanket. Gon let out that cute, happy sound he makes whenever he gets what he wants and slipped under the covers, shifting around to find a comfortable position. He curled on his side, facing Killua's back. Gon could easily see the fluff of silver melded with the darkness. He focused his gaze there, immediately feeling...sleepy...safe...

Killua was very aware of the space, or lack thereof, between them. They weren't touching, but they were close enough to feel each other's body heat.

"Mm, hey, Killua?"

Killua growled in response. His patience was thinning dangerously.

"I was just kidding. You know, about haunting you. I wouldn't do that to you."

Killua paused, staring into the dark. He thought twice about what to reply, choosing his words carefully; he didn't want to reveal anything. "I wouldn't care if you did..."

Gon lifted his head up from the pillow. "You mean...you'd want me to haunt you?"

_Yes. Please._ "...sure, I don't care."

A warm, significant silence nestled between them...it was as delightfully warm and heavy as the blanket they were both curled under.

"Hah! So that means you do believe in ghosts!"

Killua rolled his eyes. Always count on Gon to ruin the moment. Killua kicked his heel back, making direct contact with Gon's shin. He smirked with satisfaction as Gon gasped and whined in pain. He was prepared when Gon sat up and pounced on him.

After a brief skirmish of wrestling and twisting and cursing, tumbling off the bed and onto the floor, Killua finally caught Gon's neck in an expert stranglehold and cut off his oxygen until his black-haired prey choked out defeat. Eventually, they were lying on the bed again, catching their breaths, but peacefully lying under the blanket. (This was a normal occurrence, you see.)

"Killua?"

"No. Shut up." Killua curled back into his original position, facing away from Gon. One more question and Killua vowed to cut off Gon's oxygen permanently...

"If...you go first, you'll haunt me, right?"

Killua blinked. He didn't answer immediately as he processed their bizarre conversation. Putting aside the cannibalistic and metaphysical questions, it was clear that, if the occasion ever called for such measures, Gon would do anything for him—give everything up for him. Gon would even wait for him in the afterlife, haunting him, drifting by his side in spirit...never leaving him alone, always watching after him. Gon was just hoping for something similar in return.

And Killua would never deny him the same respect.

"...sure, I guess." _Of course._

Gon sleepily murmured his appreciation and shifted closer to him.

**O.w.a.r.i.**

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The spirit of Halloween and a previous conversation with my dear Gremlin inspired this. So blame him if it sucks! I encourage you to throw rocks or anything heavy.

Please leave your thoughts! I appreciate constructive criticism, but hugs are welcome, too!

Hope you enjoyed!


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